Spiritual update
this is more a confession than anything else!
In my thinking how spiritually mature I am, has really been pride and ignorance, and the Lord is kind to reveal that to me. He brings me to a place, spiritually, where I am devastated beyond words, seeing up close my poverty, and crying out to Him for forgiveness and mercy, both of which He graciously gives.
I am still in a furnace of affliction, real pain, but now, humbled, not knowing day-by-day what shall befall me, trusting Him like a leaf in a storm – and He is the storm – yet I have His precious promises of care, love, and hope to strengthen and sustain me.
No longer so sure of myself, I struggle to pray and get hold of His word, which remains true, and sure, and He has mercy on His wretched little ones, and keeps them close, like a mother hen.
It is good I have been stricken, as cocksuredness is not befitting His little ones, and I have been a bad example, and it was necessary He bring me low, where I belong.
Please remember me in prayer, brethren.
I am praying for you. And I will lift you up in prayer at our bible study group tonight.
I remember John Bunyan saying that while he was in prison at the end of his life, his doubts of salvation and of belonging to Christ were so real that he despaired that he was even loved by God, but then he came to the conclusion that none of it mattered because he knew who God was and the type of being he was and John decided he would ever love and cleave to God because he knew God doeth all things well and he would rest in that.
That being said, pain is a pain! Dear God, lift Steve’s heart and body.
I am praying for you during this painful time. Stay close to him as he carries you through the agonizing separation of joints and marrow, soul and spirit. Oh, that light that reveals our thoughts and intentions They shock as we see what has been half hidden from full consciousness. And He will soothe your wounds with his fragrant ointment.